How To: Become An OCD Jerk
I realize that there are several instances in my blog posts that say something like ‘I know this sounds a little OCD . . . ‘
And you think I’m kidding.
The truth is that to some extent I actually have a bit of a problem. For example, each morning I find it difficult to do something in a different order.
• Start Coffee
• Smoke
• Check E-Mail
• Get Baby
• Warm The Milk
• Change Diaper
• Turn TV On
• Get Coffee
• Finish E-Mail
• Start Working
• Handle Baby
Don’t get me started on how I feel when I’m out of town and none of these things are happening in the correct or even similar order.
When my tube updates for Picadilly Tubes are under the even number of 200, I feel guilty that I haven’t completed enough for an update.
Joanne putting away our dishes from the dishwasher or putting groceries away is a problem for me.
She doesn’t always stack or place the dishes the same way I do – that’s a problem.
She also doesn’t align the name of the can goods correctly and that’s a problem. Something I’ll actually get up from bed in the middle of the night to fix because my canned goods aren’t in proper order and I know it!
When it comes to work, I obsess over tiny details. Ask Mindy how many times I’ve asked which shopping cart is going to be used on Kiss My Code. She’ll probably roll her eyes and start the conversation over just because it’s something I’ve made her discuss with me nearly every week for the last six months.
Then sometimes, my obsession becomes over a conversation or a thought pattern I can’t be talked away from and herein lays the point of this post.
If I need a break, I’ll cut everything off for a break.
The last week of not being the ‘K’ in the K & M Kreative Productions has been a change that I now realize is mostly unwelcome.
I didn’t need a break from being a business partner.
I needed a break from being full time Mom, full time Aunt, full time wife, and a full time business owner. Hey people, I’m just one person.
They knew it – I didn’t.
This week I’ve learned I’m just 1 person and I’m not expected to do anything that I cannot handle or take on more than what is really required.
Did you know that?
I didn’t and I’m surprised to find this out.
What you may or may not know is that what Mindy and I had together was something successful, challenging, sought after, rewarding and exciting.
I alone left that all behind.
Why?
Because I have OCD. It sounds stupid but it’s totally true. I got my mind set that I didn’t need to share business because I was sick of placing recipes on a website!
You think I’m kidding.
No really, I waited 3 weeks to place some recipes to which I later felt so much guilt about that it only delayed the process further.
So, I quit.
Decided it was too much for me.
Gave up a partnership with my BEST FRIEND.
Left something that overall I was happy doing.
Put myself in a place to think it was all going to be better on my own.
Well . . . shit.
Nothing is better by yourself, no matter how successful you are. Why? Because who the hell are you going to turn to that shares the excitement of that success? NO ONE! You’re alone, jerk!
If time management was an issue in a partnership it’s still going to be alone.
So, you re-instate the OCD that says I wanted nothing to do all day long and go back to the idea that nothing isn’t enough and even if it’s too much you need too much rather than too little.
Step 1: Be the jerk.
“Hi”
“What’s up?”
“I’m a jerk.”
“Tell me you love me!”
“Can I come back to our partnership?”
The good news is that no single friend I have had in my life has been better than the friendship I have with Mindy. And what makes that more amazing is that for the first time I was in a partnership that I was allowed to be moody, bitchy, OCD, happy, sad, joyful, sarcastic and NO ONE CARED.
Why?
Because Mindy is moody, bitchy, OCD, happy, sad, joyful, sarcastic, and I DON’T CARE!
The point is.
Katy, welcome back to K & M Kreative Productions.
By the way, I’m still on vacation until Tuesday.
Technorati Tags: OCD, Groceries, Work, Vacation, Business, Partnership, Friendship
| 2.5 |
July 25th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I’m So Glad You’re Back!!
Bitchy, warts, happy, sad, moody, excited and all! Everybody goes through a I don’t want to do it anymore stage. Then we want back what we gave up or didn’t want to do. So ya know what? We get it back we continue on and just move things around to make it all work out how we want.
I’m stoked and so extremely happy to say, “Welcome Back Butthead!”
July 25th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
The post made my head spin, but I know what you mean. We all just need a break from life, period. I think you’ve reached your point.
*hugs*
July 25th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
If it makes you feel better — it makes my head spin too. Image living it. *Ü*
July 26th, 2007 at 7:04 am
Katy! LMAO you just made my day. This post is for sure one of my favorites and should be placed in your most memorable list. Everyone can be a jerk and everyone (yes! everyone) has some sort of OCD whether they choose to admit it or not. Sadly mine is alot like your’s… I over think things to the point that I quit, crumbs on the floor scream at me (I often vacum 4-5 times a day, yip.. 4-5 times - a bit OCD?), weird smells make me balastic - if my car smells I clean the ENTIRE thing inside and out (OCD?) - my am has an order to it as well and if one thing is out of order it throws off my entire day and often makes me grumpy. LoL. Gratz on going back to what you love hun! I’m sure Mindy understands.
July 26th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I am truly happy that you’ve realized you are only one person, and as much as you want to be super-woman sometimes, your only hurting yourself in the process! It’s another step forward to being a better person and managing your life better! I have no doubt in my mind that it will also help within all your relationships! *claps* Taka a bow! ;)
About the OCD, whether you’ve tried this before or not… the little things like having to face all the cans, and positioning the dishes exactly how you want them, etc… perhaps you can ask yourself… is this really something as important as I think it is? Is there something else better and more productive I could be doing? Is what I am obsessing about truly worth my time and the time I am taking away from my family or being upset at my partner for doing?
I hope I haven’t offended, not at all my intention… and I’m not at all trying to say that you don’t spend enough time with your family, etc! But what I am getting at is, to question yourself a little more, reconsider things that you are driving you go nuts and ask them if they are really that important… Sure, they might make your life a lil easier, but are they really worth getting up in the middle of the night and fixing when it could possibly wait till the morning? Little things like that, baby steps. ;) LOL
I know very much how it feels to have a much understanding best friend like Mindy! I think that’s one of the important things about having a best friend (or friends as some may have)… that they’ll love you no matter what stupid things you’ve said or out of the blue abnormal decisions you’ve made! ;) And they are also the ppl that will bluntly tell you to chill the hell out, and that’s one of my favourite parts of a close friendship too! :)
July 27th, 2007 at 3:54 am
Katy,
I just wanted to say congrats on going back to K&M. I think that it’s a good thing that you recognized that you weren’t quite happy being out of the partnership. I also think that it takes a big person to step forward, admit that they were wrong, and say ok, help me out. Or in your case, let me back in the partnership. I am glad to hear also that you figured out that you are only 1 person. Sometimes that is a really healthy thing for us as humans, even when we don’t want to be simply human. I also think it’s great that you have such a good friend like Mindy who definately understands! I hope that things continue to go well for you in the future!